Disclaimer
This application is entertainment only. It provides no financial, investment,
or trading advice. Tarot cards do not predict market movements. Past performance
of any cryptocurrency does not indicate future results. Never invest more than
you can afford to lose. If you are making real financial decisions based on a
tarot reading, please reconsider. Seriously.
Should I Ape? is a satirical entertainment product. The readings it generates are determined by a seeded random number generator and flavored text selected to be amusing. The market data it optionally ingests influences the aesthetic framing of readings, not their substance — the cards do not know what Bitcoin is doing.
The asterisk (*) that appears next to every verdict on this site is not a footnote. It is load-bearing. Everything before it is theater. Everything after it is true.
This site does not:
- Provide financial, investment, or trading advice of any kind
- Have access to your wallet, portfolio, or exchange accounts
- Know the future price of any asset
- Accept any liability for decisions made based on its output
If you need real financial guidance:
- Speak with a licensed financial advisor
- Read the actual whitepaper
- Check the on-chain data yourself
- investor.gov — SEC investor resources
If you need someone to talk to:
- When it stops being fun — we wrote something honest about compulsive trading
- findahelpline.com — crisis lines worldwide